"Oh Boy You've Left Me Speechless, so speechless"
"Es el sabor de tus labios.Una droga que envenena y me hace enloquecer..."

Pero "AHORA sin ti....No me queda mas remedio que dejarte ir..."

nothing really gets me like how you get me, when im with you.
i've never felt so at ease, so comfortable, so cared about.
but...
i knew what i was getting myself into, but now im scared. I know i will just have to stay still and watch you go.

your weird, but in an adorable kind of way.

can't get attached, can NOT get attached.
keep telling yourself that, and maybe we'll save ourselves
the troubles and tears.

"Gonna go on living like I never met you
And it'll feel wrong at first but I think I can forget you"

ask myself
should I go for it, now that I actually have a chance?
the doors are open, All i have to do is walk in.

Sea Otters

I went to the aquarium today, and i was amazed and automatically fell in love with the sea otters there. They swim around in their little shit tanks, where they are trapped and just used for money.Thousands of people a year come to see them swim around in there confined tanks. They swim around with energy looking cute and having a blast with their little toys and ice. and what i realized was, wow if these little creatures can live happily despite having to be trapped in this place, i think we can do the same! we live in this shit ass world, with shit ass people,but it doesnt mean we cant be happy. I need to stop worrying, being depressed, being sad, and getting angry about stupid things in life, and just smile and be happy. I've been like this for way to long, and i dont know why. well i do, but i'm going to try super hard to let all the bad shit go through and passed me and move on.

Good To You

Everyones around
No words are coming now
And I can't find my breath, can we just say the rest with no sound?
And none of this is enough...

I thought I saw the sign'
Somehwere bewteen the lines
Or maybe it's me, maybe I only see what I want...

no one reads this. but i dont care, this is like an online journal for me anyways.
i'm beginning to confuse myself with a certain aspect of my life or a certain someone.Its kind of one of those times where you are trying to snap yourself out of it, because its not the norm for you, but you cant help it as much as you try to stop yourself. Its feeling like its getting stronger and stronger as the time goes by, but it also feels like its getting more clear as time goes by.
But what i want to know is when it all clears and is fine for me to see, where should i go from there? Should i wait for it to come to me? so i take a chance and speak about it. Although the thought of that kinda scares me because i'm not good for that. maybe i should just take a chance and speak up.

wow.

WOAH!!! lack of update much?
school has been insane, and term 1 has ended. its insane how time flys!!! well i'm quitting my job so i can focus on my schooling better, my photography. I mean its tough not having any days off for yourself. I go to school monday-friday 9-4 although i have to leave my home at like 6:40am and i dont get home until 5:30pm and then weekends i work (saturday AND sunday) no no no, i need at least a day off in the week to relax. That is why I am giving my notice tommrow.

I've been taking alot of sweet shots lately, and 2 months into the course i'm kinda leaning toward a commerical/editorial kind of area. I would love to shoot for a magazine actually, a music one! Thats my goal, getting really pro and good at studio work, getting comfortable with lighting, and using that to my advantage. I also need to start getting more photo pit passes to build up that side of my portfolio. I need variety, variety is good.

well i'm off to bed, i woke up at 5:30 am and i have a closing shift tommrow (what a effin surprise *sigh*) i swear to god every saturday its the same routine, but anywho off to bed. night night. zzzzzzzzzzz

Kiss and Control

bahh. I hadn't listened to AFI, in a while, and i listened to decememberunderground again, and god i forgot how much i loved the song "Kiss and Control" srsly amazing. Davey's lyrics are amazing "Watch the stars,
Turn you to nothing.
Now blush and smile as they whisk you away.

Part your lips a bit more,
I'll swallow your fear.
I will show you how.
All the bite marks impress
A need to be here,
A need to see.

City lights, like rain,
Dance and explode.
Fall upon debutantes

Reeling from nights that
Kiss and Control,
All of our, broken hearts.


Velvet burns,
The wrists while restraining..
You blushed and smiled,
And said you would stay.

One more time steal my breath,
I'll feed you the sky.
I will show you how.
Steal the glamour from death,
And before you die,
Oh, you should see.

"We all want to die like movie stars" you said, as you jumped from the height of our cutting room floor.
While above us glowing, exploding, our dreams burst forth in light in death.
Hold me and tell me,
"We'll burn like stars. We'll burn as we fall. Watch as the city lights DANCE FOR US!"
"

so robert pattinson is in town. just found out today!! he's in vancouver and i'm currently attending school in vancouver downtown acually, which is a very popular spot. it'd be awesome to spot him down there. BAHH. well the rest of the cast is in town as well prepping for new moon. so stoaked. pft w/e im allowed to go teenie over Robert Pattinson.

but anywways today i was on the skytrain (which is like a subway except its above ground wayyy up high.) and it stopped midway just sitting there not moving while we are like 10 stories up. and i was like wtf. and it was dead silent, and my phone goes off, my dad was phoning, of course i have a custom ring tone for him and OF COURSE IT WAS NOT ON VIBRATE, so imagine...silence andthis song coming on so embrassing ppl were staring lmao. i couldnt hear it because i had my ipod full blast so who knows how long it had been ringing lmao.

but tommrow morning we finally get into the studio and shoot a couple photos, having to dowith exposure tool, im stoaked. well ttyl for now

After The Last Midtown Show

i absolutely love this song, the lyrics, music, everything is just beautiful. i dont know why but theres something about william beckett's voice, or i guess its just the emotion that be puts in to songs like this one, that make me tear up.

It's a drunken midnight on the streets,
Brightly dusted with a neon light.
We duck behind the corner store,
Smoke your smokes while I keep
A watchful eye.
Right here, right now.
I hope before the night is through
One fumbled touch will finally hit the spot.
You've got everything going for you,
So I'll go for you with everything I got.
Right here, the best days of our lives.
Is this coincidence or a sign?

Is there anything I missed?
Is there anything I missed?
Tell me if I'm wrong,
But why would we change a thing?

When the morning light fights through the cracks
cascading across the bed, and you are mine.
When your parents start to wake for work,
between the sheets, I’ll keep a watchful eye.
Right here, the best days of our lives.
Is this coincidence or a sign?

When we met I was on my back.
I swear we spent most afternoons
somewhere in the act.
We were part of something ours,
and ours alone.
Anywhere was home.
We’re almost here again.
We’re almost here again.
We’re almost here again.
Right here, right now.

GOT MY NOSE PIERCED...FINALLY!
how does it look? gah im hoping it doesnt get infected.
bahhhprayyy.

i also started school finally over at vanarts, (in the photography program) wow post secondary, i deff better haha i love it!! i gotta get a shit load of equiptment, hella expensive as well. yesterday i bought my camera bag, because surpringly i still didnt have one, and a PROFESH tripod, its pretty awesome, i think next week i might get my light meter and flash we'll see. and bahh i'm hopefully getting the Nikon d700 soon as well, bah crossing fingers i can get the money.
I got my car insurance back, so no more bus taking YEYE!!!
life is good.

"And don't mind me if I get weak in the knees
'Cause you have that effect on me, you do
.....
And I can't think of anybody else
Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you"

NEW PHONE. BITCHES!
I also went shopping today, bought a bunch of cute clothes. cheap but very cute.
got a scarf, 3 new shirts, 2 sweaters, 3 panties.
im stoaked school is in 6 days. Its weird because it doesnt feel like i've been outof high school for 8 months, when people said that time would fly after high school i didnt believe them, but now i do. I cant believe im turning 19, its insane.
Well i guess its time to grow up, and see what the future has in stored for me.

"I don't wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest
Or the girl who never wants to be alone"

Secret#4/Day 4

Secret #3/Day 3

SECRETS #1 & #2

Its Been So Long, but so much has gone on.
I Went to Nicaragua for a month, during the christmas holidays. It was absoutely incrediable, alot of of ahemm interesintg things happend.
I start school in less than 3 weeks, my time will mostly be spent, in the city, vancouver. It should be amazingg!
I also go my hair done the other day and went to go see Faber Drive play it was quite awesome, im not gonna lie.
I thought and thought, and also talked to my best friend, and we came to the conclusion, that i shouldnt worry or feel bad. I shouldnt let it get to me, i shouldnt care. Its not worth it, and obviously this person doesnt know what their missing out on, they didnt open up their eyes and see what was infront of them. I'm just not that type of person, i'm not going to change who i am, or pretend to be something im not. Its better this way, but i still cant forget.