08/08/11

I went to go see my therapist today, and we discussed more things that i've believing that AREN'T true. First thing we discussed was the fact that I always say to myself in certain situations, "OH I CAN'T DO THAT" "I COULD NEVER DO THAT" the reasoning behind it because i'm scared of failing, thinking "FAILING WOULD BE HORRIBLE". He then made me think, well how is it affecting my life. First off I'm living in fear, so me holding back just makes that fear bigger. Also I'm living with stress and i'm making myself uneasy and scared! I'm holding myself from experiencing things. We then decided to turn that statement around the "OH I CAN'T DO THIS" to "I CAN DO THIS" and the "FAIlING WOULD BE HORRIBLE" to "FAILING WOULD BE THE BEST THING FOR ME". If we were to take the statment "FAILING WOULD BE HORRIBLE" out of my life how would it change my life? Well it would make life easier! I would live in stress free, at ease. I would try more things, and not be scared of failing. Failing would become easier and it would make the next failure less of a big deal! I would gain experience from failing, i would also learn about what works and what doesn't work for me. Failing would be the best thing to happen to me! He told me i've believing something completely untrue, and when reality is one thing and our minds lie about it, we cause ourselves pain, because we are fighting against it!

We also discussed my fear of flirting or my relationships with men. I think to myself "I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH" this is stopping me from pursuing relationships with men, and from showing and sharing my entire self to the world. In my therapist words "You've been robbing us from the real Esp!" And i know that, i don't put myself all the way out there with the fear of thinking they might not think i'm good enough. We decided to turn that statement around "I AM GOOD ENOUGH." And we thought about how that would change my life, removing the statement of "I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH." I would live in less fear of being rejected. I would that fear and stress would be gone! I would feel confident and i wouldn't care what people thought, because I would know that I'M GOOD ENOUGH!